This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton…
The instructor told Mori “Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say ‘how are you’. Then Mr. Clinton should say,” I’m fine, and you?” Now you should say ‘me too’. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you.”
It looks quite simple, but the truth is….When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said “Who Are You?” instead of “How are you”. Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: “Well, I’m Hilary’s husband, ha-ha….” Then Mori replied “Me too, ha-ha..”
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
Hilarious! BSNL service & faith of people on them...
I'm watching my favorite show (Koffee With Karan) on TV, when the phone rings.
There's a agitated lady on the phone.
Lady: 'Hello? BSNL? My phone has not been working for....'
Me (interrupting): 'I think you have the wrong number'
Lady: 'Oh! I'm sorry...' and I hang up the phone. 3 seconds later, it rings again. It's the same lady.
Lady: 'Hello? BSNL? My phone is not working...'
Me: 'Ma'am, the number you are dialing is the wrong number!', and hang up the phone.
I return to the TV show. It's a nice episode with Rakhee Savant,
And the phone rings again.
Lady: 'Hello? BSNL? Listen, don't play games with me, OK? I know this is the right number. Don't try to avoid me. Do you know who I am?'
I realized that this lady was not going to let me watch the show unless someone listened to her complaint.
Me: 'Welcome to BSNL's automated fault booking service. To continue in English, press one.'
beep...
The lady had actually pressed the '1' on her dial pad. Interesting. I thought I'd have some fun.
Me: 'To register a complaint, please press the last 5 digits of your Driving License number after the beep. BEEP'
I can hear the lady furiously rummaging through her bag looking for her Driving License. After a while
beep-beep-beep-beep-beep
She had actually found it pretty fast.
Me: 'Because of all the SPAM we have been receiving, we will now
perform a check to see if you are human. Please enter the result of 35 multiplied by 4 divided by 12'
I can hear the lady shouting out to someone in the background.
Lady: 'Prakash, quick! What is 35 times 4 by 12?'
Prakash: 'What? Why do you need that?'
Lady: 'I'm registering a complaint for our dead phone'
Prakash (sounding somewhat confused): 'But why would you need...'
Lady: 'JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION'
Prakash: 'err..it's...aaaa...elevent point....errr...'
beep-beep
The lady actually enters 1-1 on the dial pad.
Me: 'Your complaint has been registered. Thank you for calling BSNL'
The lady sounds pleased. I can hear her speaking to 'Prakash'
Lady: 'I like BSNL. They have such a high tech system. They didn't even have to ask me for the number of our landline that is dead.
Cool!'
1.It is a woman's duty to get married as early as possible and a man's to postpone it as long as possible.
2. xyz and abc
3.Seeing is not believing because every wife sees her husband everyday but never believes him.
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'.
Editor: 'Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?'
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: 'We had been to our honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'.
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!
I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?'
She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!'
Husband: 'That's it. We are happily married ever after.'
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception.
A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
'Because I am not an American.' replied Gita.
'Then', asks the teacher, 'What are you?'
'I'm a proud Indian,' boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita why she is an Indian.
'Well', my mom and dad are Indians, 'so I'm an Indian too.'
The teacher is now angry. 'That's no reason', she says loudly 'if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?'
A pause, and a smile.
'Then...' says Gita,
*
*
*
'I'd be an American.'
at the time of titanic ship drowing two men at the top the deck one Itlain and Indian, Itlain asked how far land appear from here? " just 2 Kilometers," says the Indian then Itlaina jumped into the sea, and while swiming for futher then stopped sunddenly and turned backed and asked to Indian in which direction "i have to go"?
Indian told him that " Just go downward!!!!?"
by osho
two young italian men talking on the greyhound bus
an old american lady ignores their conversation at first
but she listens in horror as one italian says
emma come first…den i come…two asses dey come together
i come again…two asses dey come together again…
i come again and pee twice…den i come once a more
the shocked old lady indignantly says you foul mouthed italians
in this country we do not talk about our sex lives in public
the surprised italian exclaims
he coola down lady…imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella
mississippi
by osho
going beyond the mind…is not dropping the mind
it is going beyond the mind…into a state of no mind
on reaching the state of no mind
the mind disappears like dewdrops…just simply evaporates
the mind was just a shadow…of unawareness
by oshot
heir whole game is money and power
and beauty attracts
i always heard bhagwan speak on the domination of men over women
that women have had no freedom
and have always been dominated by man for centuries
this was an incomplete half understanding for me
living in these modern days i have experienced otherwise
my understanding was
that man is seeking riches and power
just to enable him to attract the most beautiful women
and women exploited the rich and powerful men with their beauty
this was a vicious circle…in a reverse direction
thus man is continuously chasing riches and power
to satisfy women…and his weakness for beautiful women
by osho
it was clear to me that man is dominated by women
poor man…he needs liberation from women
the whole ugly value structure of society to respect money and power
can be reversed only if women decide to change their values
rule and conquer the world
man is an aggressive animal seeking out his hunt
in the eyes of women the soft and sensitive man is a loser
cosmic superconsciousness
collective superconsciousness
superconsciousness
cosmic consciousness
collective consciousness
individual consciousness
and descending far below into
individual unconsciousness
collective unconsciousness
cosmic unconsciousness